Joke of the Day

A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers

A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back on the road.

One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitch hiking.

He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over.

He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?". "I?m going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the priest. "No problem, Father! I?ll give you a lift. Climb in the truck." The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road.

Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the lawyer. Even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn?t see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I?m sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer."

"That?s okay," replied the priest. "I got him with the door."

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What do lawyers use for birth control? Their personalities.

What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off of you when you die.

Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for what is essentially the same service.

What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand? Not enough sand.

What?s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.

Lawyer?s creed: A man is innocent until proven broke. .

You?re trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? You shoot the lawyer. Twice.